So here’s the deal. You know by now that when I stop writing regularly that I’m irritated about something, and I don’t want to talk about it. And because I write this blog to connect with like-minded people, I need to write about it. Because we’re all in this crazy boat together right?
To the point.
You may have noticed that I haven’t posted my weight on this blog in about, oh, two months. It started as an effort to break up the routine a bit. I was getting sick of seeing the same weigh-in badge every Monday when scrolling through my archives. Usually that means you are too, and have just been too polite to tell me. You all are really the best :)
While scrolling through those archives, I decided to go back to the beginning of my journey here at “Fit and Free with Emily” and record all of my weigh-ins. This will be great, I thought, I’ll have an updated progress page* (finally) and I can link to the posts and it will be awesome and everything is GREAT! Yeah, I tend to get excited about spreadsheets. Like abnormally excited. Very quickly here’s what I discovered … (* Which is not updated now, because I threw a hissy-fit. See below hissy-fit.)
Are you kidding me? No, really, what?!?! Never-mind the fact that I haven’t lost any weight in the last year (and then some), let’s just focus on the present. I have been working my butt off. That is no lie, friends. Zumba twice a week. Strength training (Power 90 or just weight routines) three times a week. Every morsel of food that goes into my mouth is tracked and counted. Sure, there are days that I slip – I’m only human. But I sure haven’t slipped this much!
The frustrating thing for me is that I just don’t have the answers. I’m tired. Tired of trying really hard and not getting anywhere. I can only tread water for so long before I just drown. (Yet another water reference, how does that keep happening?)
I know this is normal. I know this is the part of my story where I have a choice. To throw in the towel, and just resign to a life of being overweight and semi-healthy; never reaching the goals I have set for myself, and never living up to my own expectations.
I don’t want to give up. Really, I don’t. I’m proud of the steps I’ve since the beginning. Even if it means I haven’t lost a single pound. I’ve pushed myself. I was also a little distracted by a little wedding I had ;)
Back when I was on “Blog to Lose,” I blogged every day. I lost weight. Although I can’t say the two are directly related, I know there’s something there. There’s something about connecting with all of you over the interwebz that keeps me going, keeps me hopeful and fearless.
New things are happening around here.
More consistent blogging, because I need it.
More consistent exercising, because I want it.
More reaching out to health professionals, because I deserve it.
… and more espresso. Definitely more espresso will be needed. ;)
Be Strong. Be Brave. Be Fearless.