There used to be a time (’99 – ’05) when I wore nothing but black. Preferably black band/concert tees cut for a man. Because let’s face it, those baby-doll tees of yesteryear do not flatter anyone … maybe actual infants. Okay, maybe I wore more than just black, but you better believe I didn’t venture near anything that made me stand out.

Especially in High School, when the popular opinion is that Fat = U-G-L-Y (you ain’t got no alibi!), I was mostly focused on hiding. Will this tee hide my rolls? My boobs? My thunder-thighs? Up until mid-college, I never wore a dress outside of prom.

One of my major problems was that, growing up, I didn’t have a female role model to push a little fashion sense my way. Gina would take me to Lane Bryant or Penny’s. Now, I’m sure lots of folks find decent clothes at Lane Bryant. I did not. I admit they’ve gotten a lot more fashion-forward over the past few years, but my 12-20 year old self was horrified. It was all blazers and tent-like tees. Even worse, tent-like tees that were BRIGHT purple. Nothing like pinning a “LOOK AT ME” sign onto a parachute. No. Thanks.

When I first started blogging here at FF/E (Good acronym for this site? lame?) I found Skinny Emmie’s blog. I was blown away that someone could have so much AMAZING style (seriously, friend. props!) and show confidence in their appearance and be overweight. Mind = blown. (To be very very clear: I think overweight/fat/obese people, and particularly Emmie, are insanely beautiful. The reflection I had was purely because I didn’t believe those things about myself.)

Kind of sad, isn’t it? That I went through the majority of my life feeling ashamed. When Emmie launched her Emmie Loves blog, all about fashion and feeling fearlessly beautiful (my words, ha) I started to feel inspired to implement that confidence in my own life.

In other words, If I’m preaching that we should all love our bodies … I should probably start right here at home. Enter the “Emily sucks up her fear and takes some chances” project.

That’s right. I started showin’ some leg around the office! (Excuse my poor posing/lighting, I’m new at this.) I have never been comfortable showing my legs. For that matter, I don’t like showing my upper arms, the back of my neck, or midsection. I believe baggy is always better. Putting on more form-flattering dresses and skirts felt like jumping off a bridge!!

I’m still no where close to being comfortable to wear shorts or a tank top in public, but c’mon. We all have to start somewhere, right?

I’ve also been experimenting with more colors and fun styles.

You. Guys. Seriously. One year ago you couldn’t have paid me to wear stripes. It’s definitely not a comfortable zone for me. After years of trying to blend in, all these outfits seem like I’m holding a NEON sign everywhere I go. LOOK AT ME!!

I have a long ways to go on this whole confidence-front. While writing this post I had to stop several times and purposefully dismiss negative thoughts screaming through my head. Why do you think you deserve attention? You are still so so fat! Now everyone will notice how out of shape you are! That is an exhausting way to live,  and I simply refuse to knowledge that voice anymore. It’s not easy being fearless, but I’m one step closer every time I challenge myself like this.

The love starts here. Expect more body lovin’, from yours truly. I hope it can inspire some of you, too!

– Emily
Be strong. Be fearless. Be you.